I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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