saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Randomize
