Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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