I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
