Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
