NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
