the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
