no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
