return my video game
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
