i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
