butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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