That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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