I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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