Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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