haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
