if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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