my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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