I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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