you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
