New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
