you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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