theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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