You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
