um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
