i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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