He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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