Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
