Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
