The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
you had me at cake vodka
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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