Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
