my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
