the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Randomize
