so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
