Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
