The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
