Your tits are I can't wait for
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
