New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
