We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
