That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
