porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
