Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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