This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
