This girl is more easily done than said...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
