You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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