You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
