i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
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