We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
