I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Two words: nipple clamps
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