I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
