i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
