I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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